def programming

A programmer does not primarily write code; rather, he primarily writes to another programmer about his problem solution. The understanding of this fact is the final step in his maturation as technician.

A person without data is just another person with an opinion.

As a Lead JavaScript Engineer, I try to get my team to write as little JavaScript as possible.

Sure I could program in PHP, but I could also use a sundial to tell time.

on php

Features, quality, time: pick two.

XML is like violence – if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it.

on xml

Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders.

on java

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

Law 1: Every program can be optimised to be smaller. Law 2: There's always one more bug. Corollary: Every program can be reduced to a one-line bug.

Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.

Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development.

In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.

And the users exclaimed with a laugh and a taunt: It's just what we asked for but not what we want.

on users

Better train people and risk they leave — than do nothing and risk they stay.

Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over?

The adjustment period from solo programming to collaborative programming was like eating a hot pepper. The first time you try it, you may not like it because you are not used to it. However the more you eat it, the more you like it.

At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.

Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.

on bugs

A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Software and cathedrals are much the same - first we build them, then we pray.

It's not a bug - it's an undocumented feature.

on bugs

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."

on beta

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software.

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

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Source code available @ githubpull requests are more than welcome ;-)